LEAN INTO FEAR – The Other Side Is Where You Need To Be
Have you ever wondered why we fear stepping out of our comfort zone? What is a comfort zone anyway? Where does it come from?
Your comfort zone is your ego trying to keep yourself in a box. That box being safety, that box being survival. Where does this ego come from, this monkey mind chatter that tells you not to stand up and say what you think in front of others, or stops you from going to talk to the attractive person you’ve been eyeing up all night, or changing to a career that you think you would really enjoy? Your ego is something that will always been there, its there to protect you. To stop you from walking into the middle of the road in front of a car, or to tell you to take your hand away when you feel heat. If you didn’t have it, then you would die for sure. But getting up in front of people to speak, although can fill us with an incredible amount of fear; fear of embarrassment or failure, that’s not going to kill us right? So why do we have these strong negative feelings and emotions? Fear and failure are just distinctions inside of language. They are constructs that we have made for ourselves, typically from when we are children (you shouldn’t do X or else Y will happen, etc), which wires our brains to resist actions which we want to partake in. Yes, that’s right, we want to get up and speak, we feel that in our heart we want to do that but our head says: “No”. The mistake we make is that we try to beat these mechanisms, try to push them away, but we cannot because they are there for our survival instinct. What we can do is work on our courage. Courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s the ability to act in the face of fear. Just as a fire fighter runs into a burning building, they still have a fear, but they are able to act and do their job. A good soldier would be another good example. The truth is, that fear of doing things that you understand are not dangerous, like getting up to speak in front of a crowd or asking someone out on a date, are a guiding signal to get you what you truly desire. Let’s face it, we don’t get what we want by being comfortable do we. How many times have you feared doing or saying something but after you have done it you feel so much better and can’t believe what all the fear and fuss was about? So if you want to achieve something or improve yourself in some way, then lean into that fear. On the other side of that fear is what you want. A great mentor of mine said to me that whatever resists, persists. We naturally resist things. If we chose the path of least resistance, go with the flow, and live in the moment then we can achieve a life where we can live from a position of ease and grace.
One of my greatest fears, after some time off from working, was when I wanted to transition from working in the corporate world to starting my own online business. I was filled with a fear of the unknown, that I couldn’t make it work, that I wouldn’t be able to make a living out of it even though I could see many other people prospering in the online world. Breaking down these limiting beliefs, trusting the process, and concentrating on the present moment enabled me to work efficiently and to start to get real tangible results which would have been impossible if paralysed by fear.
There are only two days a year when you cannot achieve what you want: Yesterday and tomorrow. Lean into fear, on the other side of it is the greatest life imaginable, it’s the one that you truly desire.
Have a great day.